Old Barbarians

Club Rules

Mr Weights and Measures: Barbarians Club Rules

Punishments for offences may be monetary, liquid or physical, at the discretion of Mr Weights and Measures. He can only be overruled by a substantial majority of senior club members.

In all punishments, the comedy value of the offence may be taken into account as a mitigating factor.

Sample offences:

Batting:

Wearing a helmet or other acts of wussiness (bonus points for eschewing the box)

Running out a teammate under any circumstances

Showboating, switch-hitting, reverse-sweeping, Dilscooping etc

Not walking when out

Batting at an inappropriate rate

Hogging the strike

Incoherent calling

Overly agricultural batting style

Bowling:

Inability to hit the cut strip

Beamers, daisy cutters and other nonsense

Over-enthusiastic appealing

Not appealing

Bullying tailenders

Fielding:

Excessive laziness

Stealing someone else’s catch

Dropping dollies

Trying too hard for impossible catches

Shouting “catch it” under any circumstances

Throwing like a girl (female members excepted)

Social:

Spilling a pint on the prawn sandwiches, or equivalent

Scaring the horses, literally or figuratively

Using language that would embarrass the servants

Not chipping in or manning up, in any sense as defined by Mr W&M

Skiving off home before fines are awarded

Inappropriate levels of alcohol consumption (too much or too little)


CLUB NAMES ARE TO BE USED AT ALL TIMES AND CALLING A CLUB MEMBER BY ANY OTHER NAME WILL BE CONSIDERED THE WORST POSSIBLE BREACH OF ETIQUETTE AND CLUB RULES AND PUNISHED APPROPRIATELY BY Mr WM